"May COVID 19 gift us Simple Marriages"

I was sitting in the middle of a crowd. My relative sitting nearby was enquiring about my career. Someone was capturing my conversation in a video camera with an assistant showering lights on me. People around wore nice dress, ornaments and well made for the occasion. Plastic flowers and colorful designs pasted on walls and windows. A child was crying at the corner and a cousin was consoling. Children in groups were busy playing around. A lot of young nephews and cousins were teasing and mocking around. 

It was mix of sounds. I can see a stage elevated enough for these people to watch. There were two people on stage dressed, ornamented and made up well enough more than anybody else in that Hall. They were receiving a gift and smiling for the camera, FLASH!!! Before the next person was about to walk into the stage, bunch of friends broke in, cleared away even the couple for some time to arrange a cake cutting ceremony. You can see a big queue standing beneath the stage waiting to gift and wish. I was about to join that queue in sometime to wish my Bridegroom friend. Its more natural for a marriage to change to what it was 25 years ago in which was a 5 yr child then crying around. But i feel it has changed materialistically more.

Photography has seen the most blistering change in the Neo-marriages. You start spending more time to first select your Photographer. U consult your friends, see some sample photos, videos shot by that studios and finally decide on one that fits your budget. But I think photographers have become cinematographers today. They orchestrate a romantic movie for the couple. You are the HERO and HEROINE for that day. Like a movie poster with only HERO and probably HEROINE sometimes, your marriage album will be full of couple’s photos. I would hardly be able to point out a photo in the album after 15 years and remember somebody who attended my marriage. It’s a real movie. You have trailers released for 5 minutes before actual marriage video being handed out. You also have outdoor shoots where the movie is enhanced with real locations. It’s a movie that only the couple can see and admire. Then you have this free gift of candid DPs or Profile Pictures enough to manage Social Media Account likes for at least six months after the marriage day. 

One thing I remember well is the length and magnitude of importance given to rituals in a marriage where I was crying around as a 5 year old. In some marriages, it would even go all night long. But now the scenario has heavily bowed down. Rituals are limited. You no more wear most of the ritual related accessories. Its more European with bride waving her lehenga or half saree and Groom swiveling off his blazer alongside for photos. The real moment of a marriage, like tying knot as per Hindu customs, are watched and blessed upon mostly by the close relatives. Its hardly 10% of the people who witnessed the Reception the previous day. Marriage has itself become a ritual formality to showcase the status rather have people welcome enough to bless the couple with deeds.

Some marriages happen predominantly in temples or other holy places and finish it off with one-time feast. A simple arrangement. But COVID 19 has different plans for the couples yet-to-be married. You cannot have more than 20-30 persons in your wedding. Naturally, you get stuck to your house as the venue. A simple stage, simple dresses and ornaments and few close people wishing you on the occasion. One of my friends was even trying to cast the marriage live to the interested participants. If you wish to wish, you may on the live telecast or watch the video later and wish on your convenience. Ultimately, couple may get a handsome monetary support with all that hard-earned money saved. Its a surgical strike on people who showcase marriage as their social status. We have caste-based, money-based elite matrimony and even college alumni-based ones!!! Many feel it right to go for a simple marriage but we lose the battle to peer and status pressure. "May COVID 19 gift us Simple Marriages".